Anyone Want Viagra Without Prescription? Go UiTM.

Can someone explain this shit? LOL.

Middle Eastern Boobies.

I can’t bear to have my hands unwashed after a round of gym. Ya know, sharing gym equipment coated with 101 fellas sweat, beh tahan sial lah.

Then hor, I went to the club toilet to wash my hands. To my dismay, the toilet door was closed. Public toilet how can close like that wan?! I can get pretty nasty when I feel unclean and in dire need to wash my hands / pee, so I just barged in.

Just then…

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I had a full-frontal view of Middle. Eastern. boobies.
Picture strictly for illustration purposes only.

Omaigod.

Round, firm and -TMI so removed-.

Apparently a bunch of Middle Eastern women closed the toilet door so that they can run around stark naked and shampoo each other’s hair in the club’s toilet. Wtf it’s a public toilet you idiots. The one I saw just came out of the shower. Not only boobs, I saw her entire naked body.

I dunno whether should I be amused or traumatized by this experience.

Betcha you’d kill to be in my shoes lol.

Middle Eastern boobies pwns Megan Fox anytime. Neh neh neh neh pu pu.

I Love REAL Men.

What’s wrong with girls nowadays? Head over heels with pricks that look like utter sissies? Those Korean guys hired to be ambassadors for Korean skincare brands? OMG beh tahan sial. Long flowing hair and dreamy pose pl0x. PUI.

I, on the other hand, prefer real, tough men.

Seeeee my taste in men reflects even on my camera taste too. No nonsense, practical, sturdy build, no frills, functionable. Just the way I love my man.

Screw pink compact cameras with 101x megapixels. They’re just effing gay.

Say hello, guys, to my new Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3. 😀

Different Beauty, Different Times.

While I was admiring this sample picture taken by my next potential camera, the Panasonic Lumix LX3, dad walked over to see what I was up to.

Courtesy of DPReview Lumix LX3 Gallery

Me: Look at the whole feel of the picture!
Dad: *Scoff* My Sony camera can do better.
Me: *Points at the amazing bokeh* For a compact camera to achieve this, it’s amazing!
Dad: *Scoff* My Sony camera can make sure the girl and the background also sharp. Background so blur, how can wan.

HAHAHAHAHA apparently people of different times appreciate a different perspective of beauty.

Poor Guys are Salted Fish.

In the middle of a random MSN conversation with Akonana,

Me: Wah that girl damn hang fuk loh, she married a gold fish. Got big mansion to live in tiny little Singapore.
Bf: Gold fish means hang fuk oh? But I’m just a fei zhao yu wor…

I lol’d hard. If that wasn’t enough, he proceeded:

Actually I think worse than that, I’m just a ham yu…

Hahahahaha sorry no translation this time. Translate jor not funny anymore. Either get it and LOL, if not, no worries! The chaborkia will tickle you with more lolz in the future!

The Goat That Smiled at Me.

Yesterday, I went to Teen Darwaza (translate: Three Gate), an ancient monumental area at the old city of Ahmedabad, Gujarat. I took a LOT of picture. Now THIS place really reflects India’s true culture. India is big, tourist attractions aren’t limited to just the Taj Mahal at Mumbai, hence you’ll need to make do with the ones closest to where you’re visiting. But honestly, I don’t expect tourists to come to this part of India for an excursion anyways. I ain’t in no Goa, the land of beautiful sunrise and beaches. *Sigh*

So gimme time to process my pictures of this place okay? I hope the batch turns out good.

Meanwhile entertain you with… The goat that smiled at me. They’re such benign and innocent beings, why are they so tasty? I feel guilty lah. T_T

And I think that fella tried to eat my 100 dollar blouse (no lah not so expensive, 40% off). He was sniffing my shirt when I leaned over to pet him. No way dood.

Have a happy weekend peeps!

UPDATE: A Reader LOLGoat Joke

Reader Zikri wrote:
goats are cute!

during my neko-chan documentary we visited this family who kept goats as pets. During our break, one of their goats came up to me and started rubbing it’s head on my shoulder
that was the weirdest show of affection I’ve received from an animal thus far

I replied:
i think your goat was trying to mate with you

Zikri:
you’re nuts lol. eh goats eat everything. my goat ate Apollo wafers. -.-

I said:
and yeah mine tried to sniff and nibble off my shirt wtf.

Zikri:
he wanted to rip your shirt of before mating

Okay I admit I kena pwn there. -_-

My Name is Pan, Pantang – Yet Another Language Barrier LOL.

I am very bored with the food choice in India. No junk food, no kopitiam for morning tea, no mamak stall for tea, etc. All I have here is white bread, made without eggs (vegan country, so it’s like char kuey teow without lard, where got sedap one?!); and cornflakes that I have to eat sparingly with my limited supply of milk powder (cows here eat trash, so we dare not order fresh milk from the friendly cow man). And guess what? I just found out our regular bakery shop is infested with monsoon season flies. Fly, in the plural, you know? The insect that sits on top of poo?

FML FML.

No pork noodles for breakfast, no teh oh ais to quench my thirst, cannot ‘zham’ RM5 ringgit of siew yoke when I feel like having salty delights. T_T No leafy green veges here. T_T No chinese mixed rice here. Only got vegetarian hakka noodles (is a JOKE, hakka noodle without pork?!!!!! *faints*) in restaurants that are far and few in between at the city.

One fine day, I was so bored, so dejected that I feel suicidal, I tried to order McDonalds even though I know it’ll be another sad joke. Even India’s largest telco, Airtel’s customer service can blabber at me in Hindi when I ‘press 1 for English’, what you expect lah?! Even in KL I also hate it when I choose English and got blabbered at in Malay. Dude, that makes the option thing totally redundant.

Bad thoughts aside, I was pleased that the call-center is articulate in English, so I placed my order. However, Indians learn English by using Hindi phonetics, hence their heavy accent.

Just imagine: Whatever stereotype you had in mind of Indian-English and the head-shaking thing, it’s totally 100% true. XD The heavy accent, coupled by head-shaking, I believe it’s deeply embedded in everyone’s mind. So picture that, and continue reading!

CLICK ‘READ MORE’ TO PROCEED TO THE LOLZ!

Night-Time Vision Chaborkia.

I know this is more random than all my bo liao posts combined, but what the heck.

So I took a picture.

To be honest, I was actually trying to back-comb my hair and pose sexy for the camera like EvonT. but failed miserably. So I made fun of myself instead.

Hahahahaha. Wtf.

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I hate the India’s weather. It’s trying to make fun of me.

It was inhumanely hot a month back, and we’ve been avoiding going anywhere without shelter. Any normal person, no matter how healthy, sure kena heat stroke under the sun and 42 degrees Celsius.

So my parents were telling me Gujarat’s monsoon season (no autumn here, just lots of rain) is pretty mild, won’t rain day and night like the rest of India.

Good, we’ll go and visit tourist attractions during monsoon then, I thought.

Mana tau…

This whole week, me and my mom observed the weather day in day out. It sprinkled some moisture over our city, but nothing more. Not like KL rain like pangsai after kena food poison. And we gleefully thought we can go out and be tourist-ish when it’s cooling and with very little rain.

WE WERE WRONG!

I have already had enough with the shopping malls at Gujarat. I bought so many things I think I’m gonna cry when I fly back. T_T

I told myself, no shopping this weekend, let’s go to Teen Darwaza (Three Gate, those ancient monumental places) instead, and be really tourist-ish.

The weather looked great before we got down the stairs. Just then, BANG! It rained cats and dogs.

%$&#*%^%$^

Okay loh so we went shopping again.

And I bought even more stuff. Haiyo how to carry back lah. T_T

K lah good night.

PS: Hangmen will be proud. Night time vision PP omg. XD

Random LOL – The Thailand Version of ‘Delhi Belly’.

As a traveler in India, it’s natural that I need to know about Delhi Belly. Even though I swore off eating any outside food during my stint to prevent food poisoning (hygiene here is terrible), I couldn’t resist. And if you know how to find, you’ll get some very decent fine dining restaurants here that are clean and comfortable. Roadside food is a definite no-no for foreigners. Not unless you wanna laosai until you dry.

I never read about Delhi Belly’s definition formally, I just sorta guessed the meaning, so I googled to make sure.

And I lol’d.

From Wikipedia,

There are a number of colloquialisms for travelers’ diarrhea contracted in various localities, such as “Montezuma’s revenge”, “turistas”, or “Aztec two step” for travelers’ diarrhea contracted in Mexico, “Pharaoh’s Revenge” in Egypt,”Delhi belly” in India, “Holiday tummy” in United Kingdom or “Bali Belly” in Bali. A recent local term in Pattaya, Thailand, is “Thai-dal wave”.

Thailand.

Thai-dal wave.

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OMG WTF I lol’d so hard. I think I’m the only perv who’s laughing at the pun but yeah, it’s another piece of rubbish not worth knowing but made a good laugh for me anyways.

Thai-dal wave. HAHAHAHA.

For those who dunno what is a ‘tidal wave‘,

A tsunami (津波^?) (pronounced /(t)suːˈnɑːmi/) is a series of water waves (called a tsunami wave train) that is caused when a large volume of a body of water, such as an ocean, is rapidly displaced. The Japanese term is literally translated into “harbor wave.”

Tsunami. Diarrhea. HAHAHAHAHA.

My First Vector Buzz OMG.

I know this is so so so so random. I tried to sit down and play with my Adobe Illustrator and all I got was this lousy Bee.

There you go, my first ever vector image. I sorta grasp the concept of AI now. Totally different from the way Adobe Photoshop works. I really need to shake off the PS mindset and think AI nao else I’ll be stuck forever!

Gawd I am soooooooo random. Good night!