Chabor’s One Night in Mumbai.

TL;DR post in a nutshell:

• If you’re traveling to India and need some information, you ought to read this.
• If you’re in for some LOL, you ought to read this.
• If you’re in love with the Chaborkia, you seriously must read this.

I need to document this trip before it’s all lost in memory!

I left India on the 22nd of August. Since I was in Ahmedabad, a relatively small city like Penang, I needed to catch a 1 hour flight from Ahmedabad to Mumbai for my international flight home.

As my dad left a 3 hour gap between the 1 hour domestic flight and my international flight, I thought I had ample time to frolick around the airport to enjoy the sights and sounds.

But it all went wrong. Just as the taxi reached my home, my dad made a last minute check on our flight and to our horror, our domestic flight was delayed for 2 hours! I cannot afford waiting for 2 hours, I might miss my international flight!

Screw SpiceJet. Seriously screw you.

——————————————————————

When I first landed in India three months ago, my dad also left a 3 hour gap for us to touch down Mumbai and head to Ahmedabad. But again, there were last minute changes and we were left breathless after chasing the flight down. CHASE. Really need to chase the plane okay? Then with the non-existent system ruling India’s airport, we lost a lot of time fighting our way through their customs, which were utterly ridiculous.

First the customs are separated to male and females. Then India is packed. If you think Hong Kong’s airport is packed, India is 101x worse! So their system is something liddis:

1. You put your hand carry luggage through the x-ray machine.
2. Since there are a gazillion others lining up, you might be ushered away to other lines that are less crowded, leaving you worried about your belongings on the other end of the hall.
3. Males and females are separately scanned and worse thing is, scanning is done MANUALLY meaning they run their hands through your body. So by the freaking time we’re done with the scanning our belongings are left abandoned in one of the lines!
4. There is no fixed check-in destinations for each airlines, they shift as they please.
5. Since everything isn’t fixed, you really need to depend on LUCK and ASK the clueless airport staff, who will then join you in banging around and asking about where to check in, any delays etc.

What sort of system is this lah you tell me.

——————————————————————-

I’ve already experienced the Amazing Race when I first came to India, I told myself I didn’t want it to happen another time. But it did.

Out of haste, my dad demanded a refund from SpiceJet and bought a costly GoAir flight that was taking off just 10 minutes away. 10 freaking minutes!

And we chased the airplane down with just 5 minutes to spare. Phew. Exactly 1 hour later, we reached Mumbai.

Okay listen up travelers. There are two airports in Mumbai. One domestic – Santa Cruz Domestic Airport, the other international – Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport. To travel back and forth is easy, just take the free inter-terminal shuttle bus service that comes every 30 mins. You only need 15 minutes to get in between domestic and international. However you can only use the free shuttle PROVIDED you have your connecting flight ticket at hand to show the conductor.

If you don’t have one, you cannot take the free bus and will have to face the horrible Mumbai traffic jam. Approximately 45 minutes to go to the next terminal lah.

My dad thought the security would be lax and he could see me off till the International airport by sneaking on the shuttle, but alas, we were told to hand out our connecting flight tickets and I was forced to bid dad goodbye right there.

And I was alone.

It’s exhilirating to be traveling alone in a foreign land even though it’s just a short distance. Just me, my big red luggage, my laptop and my handbag full of the essentials.

You won’t get lost in Mumbai’s internatiol airport. Upon entrance, everything is clearly marked. There are plenty of check-in counters on the right side of the airport and Immigration is on the left so you might do a bit of walking. Remember to keep watch the overhead screens to make sure you’re on the right counters and flights aren’t delayed.

Toilets are well maintained by the cleaner ladies so you dun need to fret about it either. For good food and familiar names like McDonald’s and all that, check in first. Dun go for the lauya Coffee Day and other local restaurants near the entrance, later you laosai.

As I was walking to Gate 15, a guai lou approached me and asked one too many questions. I feigned deafness and smiled at him vaguely. It was right to do so – When I nestled myself in front of my Departure Gate, I saw him holding the waist of the poor ladies manning the souvenir counter. They didn’t look too comfortable with him. Hamsap lou lol.

Don’t buy the souvenirs in the airport okay? They’re grossly overpriced.

For those with connecting flights the next day, you can find a Slumber Zone near Departure Gate 15 and 16. There are some makeshift beds for you to sleep on. I was tempted to lie down but am not too pleased with the cleanliness.

And I waited patiently for my flight. When I was in Immigration, my dad called me but reception was bad. Minutes later, I received a call from Maxis.

I was utterly perplexed to receive a call from Maxis, asking me for my location and how was I. Apparently my dad was so worried about dropping me alone in Mumbai, he tried calling me but failed to reach me. Then, he called my bro, and amidst the STD/IDD mumbo jumbo, both dad and bro couldn’t reach me so my bro *somehow* demanded Maxis to call me and get back to him.

LOL should I be amused or embarassed about this parental rage episode, I really dunno. And Maxis, with all the RUBBISH they have been sending to me and bad services, yes I thank them but yet again no thank you. Who was at fault for bad reception / failed IDD services when I direly needed them? AND I FUCKING PAY YOU A LOT OF MONEY OKAY?! And I have to put up to a lot of your crap advertisements!

My Departure Gate grew steadily more crowded as time passed. I was lucky I was wearing a mask as a stupid fella had a hacking cough and he coughed like wanna die all through my wait. Somemore he was wearing white hats and white robes, those religious sort of fella. Hello you wanna go heaven earlier is your business okay dun drag me along. What sort of times are we at now lah? H1N1 okay, have some respect!

I approached the airport staff to voice my concern but sadly, they don’t give a fuck about it.

K fine I’ll just sit there and be a little ignorant traveler.

And I boarded at 11.50 pm. I got an aisle seat which was just 1 row behind the acclaimed emergency exit seat. I set my eyes on the spacious seat, ready to pounce should the seat be left vacant. I was about to pounce on that seat when a couple came in, sat down and gloated loudly at their fortune of getting that comfortable seat. FML

I told myself not to have a midnight supper but the MAS fella was so professional he actually made me nod even though I was dead set against eating anything.

And I om nom nom on some Indian curry. Last meal was somewhere in the sky having Indian curry… Which caused me indigestion and made the rest of my flight a living hell. FML

I reached KLIA safely at about 07.30 am. Technically it has been 7 hours or so if you see the time but the flight was only 4 hours long.

My dear Akonana came to pick me up. The look of him, standing there, looking into my eyes, made me feel as though nothing has ever changed and I was coming home to a warm blanket that I know will always be there for me…

Or maybe it’s just jet lag, too tired to have a faster heartbeat when seeing your loved one after 3 freaking months. LOL. And he failed to hug nor kiss me upon seeing me. WEI WHAT LAH YOU. Haiyah I dunno wanna feel exasperated or angry lah, too used to his coolness. But you cannot say he dun love me wor. He does. He just threw away half my room and cleaned it for me. And amidst other things. 😀

So that’s it. I’m back! The longest vacation I ever had…

Weekend Getaway – Temerloh, Pahang.

Haro guys! I’ve enjoyed myself staying away from the computer, what about you? It’s always good to be off the net once a while.

A few days after landing in KL, I headed to the bf’s hometown with his family for a *very* short getaway. Akonana’s family practically dropped by the sleepy town just to have a sleepover and hang out several hours with their relatives. The only view that I got was this.

Because, Temerloh is very de ulu. I also didn’t know that. I was expecting something Penang-ish, slightly bustling little town maybe? But nope, took lots of small little roads inside dense trees and glimpses of the Pahang river before we reached the house.

Don’t be fooled by the picture – I had lots of fun and a fair share of awkwardness meeting and spending time with his extended family. Apparently everyone in the kampung chimed in to have a BBQ session with his aunts, who were selling off their backyard land full of their worldly kampung memories. It was fun lah seriously. His aunt made me felt abashed by declaring her jealousy after she caught her nephew peeling grilled potatoes and feeding me with his hand. Wtf so paiseh. XD

And the best delicacy of the day trip? Ayam kukus garam. Yim Guk Gai. Chicken Steamed in Salt. True kampung recipe, courtesy of Akonana’s ah gong.

Dug in the firm flesh of the chicken using my bare hands and had juice dripping down my elbow, didn’t bother to take pics. Imagine lah sendiri. Kakakaka.

Hehe, and I spent the just-ended weekend in Ipoh with Shutterasians. Pics up after edits. I can’t stand my mundane PNS shots after spending one whole day with fellas holding big black DSLR’s! T_T

Hope you guys had a nice round of 3 day weekends!

Goodbye India.

Goodbye India.

It has been a pleasant shopping experience. All the above are less than RM10 omg wtf.

I can rant endlessly about the atrocities of this country; how the most favourable delicacy in the whole of Gujarat state made me shit bricks; how the persistent honking culture of the Indian traffic left me with mild ringing ears; how my heart’s capacity is pushed to it’s limits when I’m riding an auto-rickshaw; how my nasal glands withstand the stench true to India…

And I’ll never forget the peculiar hospitality of the people here. Some are so friendly they just drench your heart with honey; while some leave you baffled at their behaviour, standing in front of you to gawk on and on and on. In the literal sense! And rudely, mind you.

… But I really need to admit, India has a beautiful charm that can be found nowhere else in the planet. Read: where lah in the world to find old crumbling buildings with spectacular architecture, only to have it left to rot by lazy (corrupt!!!) modern civilization who refuses to lift a finger to restore it’s magnificence? And where lah you can find so many cows and goats that smile benignly at you?

Do consider coming here for a great eye-opening experience…

Just be sure to buy travel insurance.

Wish me safe flight! =)

The People of Teen Darwaza, India.

Teen Darwaza, so full of colour.

Because I was there. HAHAHAHA so vain.

Here is a compilation of the natives of an old city in India.

Typical day of traffic congestion in India. Bad attitudes don’t help yo. Note the fella hanging out from the truck, impatience. Note the dulan look on the cyclist, impatience. Look at the funny guy in the kid’s helmet, impatience! Look at how everyone is determined to stuff themselves into whatever space available.

Typical scene for traffic users – slumdogs groping passengers and motorists for money. We were inside the auto rickshaw and she kept on touching us. Eurgh. And the funny thing is, locals here scold slumdogs and chase them away. I don’t know if it’s for the sake of our comfort, or there is something going on between the two classes.

Okay on to the merchants of Teen Darwaza!

CLICK READ MORE FOR TEH PICTURES!

The Goat That Smiled at Me.

Yesterday, I went to Teen Darwaza (translate: Three Gate), an ancient monumental area at the old city of Ahmedabad, Gujarat. I took a LOT of picture. Now THIS place really reflects India’s true culture. India is big, tourist attractions aren’t limited to just the Taj Mahal at Mumbai, hence you’ll need to make do with the ones closest to where you’re visiting. But honestly, I don’t expect tourists to come to this part of India for an excursion anyways. I ain’t in no Goa, the land of beautiful sunrise and beaches. *Sigh*

So gimme time to process my pictures of this place okay? I hope the batch turns out good.

Meanwhile entertain you with… The goat that smiled at me. They’re such benign and innocent beings, why are they so tasty? I feel guilty lah. T_T

And I think that fella tried to eat my 100 dollar blouse (no lah not so expensive, 40% off). He was sniffing my shirt when I leaned over to pet him. No way dood.

Have a happy weekend peeps!

UPDATE: A Reader LOLGoat Joke

Reader Zikri wrote:
goats are cute!

during my neko-chan documentary we visited this family who kept goats as pets. During our break, one of their goats came up to me and started rubbing it’s head on my shoulder
that was the weirdest show of affection I’ve received from an animal thus far

I replied:
i think your goat was trying to mate with you

Zikri:
you’re nuts lol. eh goats eat everything. my goat ate Apollo wafers. -.-

I said:
and yeah mine tried to sniff and nibble off my shirt wtf.

Zikri:
he wanted to rip your shirt of before mating

Okay I admit I kena pwn there. -_-

The Famous Kankaria Lake of India.

So I was at the famous Kankaria lake in Gujarat for the second time last weekend. The first time I went there, I came back a roasted chaborkia. The 44 degrees summer heat does not complement a walk at the lake side at all!

This round, though, the long-anticipated monsoon season sorta failed. No rain, just blue skies and a light breeze. Hence, we went for some bird-sighting. There are no more places for us to go, we’re tired of the malls, and places of worship aren’t our thing (I want to but no cameras allowed).

T_T

Kankaria is the biggest lake of the city of Ahmedabad, Gujarat, India. With an approximate circumference of 1.4 miles (2.3 km), it represents the regale history of Ahmedabad. It is located in the southern part of the city in Maninagar area, which is the most densely populated suburb of the city, mostly consisting of middle class people. Kankaria was built by Sultan Kutubuddin in 15th century A.D. The work was completed in 1451. Its ancient name is Hauj-E-Kutub. It also consists of a water purification system but it is lost with the time. At one point of the circular lake, there opens a walkway which later merges into a garden called Nagina Wadi (means beautiful garden in Urdu) that is located in the center of the lake. There is also a gym in the Kankaria lake campus which is called Ambubhai Vyayamshala.

Lighting and special effects on the walkway and sumptuous food of the restaurants in the central garden make the lake a worthwhile place to visit or spend an evening. Kankaria is well-known for its junk food in the entire province of Gujarat. At night, the junk food business soars up. Especially in the summer between months of March and June.

Courtesy: Wikipedia

There is nothing special about this lake at all. Screw ‘fancy lighting and sumptuous food’. Toilets are atrociously dirty (so dirty I daren’t even watch), restaurants are unhygienic to the max (it’s common standard for locals (no offence); but foreigners, please steer clear), and the cleanliness is just okay compared to the streets outside.

Oh, did Wikipedia mention the beautiful garden Nagina Wadi? Scrap that too dude. There is nothing beautiful at all! It’s yet another stretch of walking path with trees, and they charge us 10 rupees each to enter that place! And the security guards are so determined to earn another 30 rupees from camera owners, they keep hogging you as you stroll through the garden.

——————————————————————

Okay on to the pics.

You’ll see all sorts of different exposure for my pics coz I was picking up various Photoshop lessons along the way so it’s not consistent. When can I edit pics with consistent color like a pro lah? Lol…

The entrance of Kankaria Lake. There are several entrances around the round spherical lake, you can’t miss it.

The gold-miner. Pun intended. Ticket window or the guy, you decide.

Just click ‘Read More’ lah! Got leng lui to see, no lie wan!

A (Slum) Dog’s Life at India.

UPDATE: I’ve added a little bit of background stories about the pics to this post.

—————————————————

No, Slumdog Millionaire ain’t no fragment of the director’s imagination. Poverty is happening in India right when you’re lounging at a costly restaurant somewhere in KL. And for me, lounging in restaurants usually means I am undecided on what to eat. Sui hor? We’re so spoilt for choice and yet we still have 101 things to complain.

We’re like this well-fed kid. Rich jor some more lan ying.

I think his family is trying to train him up to become’s Bollywood’s next biggest thing. According to some sources, Bollywood dances are full of dancing talents. These people might just be finding a way to weave through the competition and to reach stardom to avoid the terrible living conditions that some have to go through.

See the pics, and FEEL the lives of these poor people. If our Bolehland gahmen continues to rasuah kao kao, I don’t see why we wouldn’t end up like this one fine day. Tsk tsk.

Slumdog No Millionaire

This is what we call ‘home’. Usually homes like these consist of two or three families within. They sleep on the floor, cook with only 1 pot, no gas stove, and drink direct from the tap. Mind you, India doesn’t have an Indah Water equivalent, that’s why ‘Delhi Belly’ is apparent in foreigners. Never eat roadside food and drink only bottled water when you travel here.

It’s a dog’s life: Scavenging whatever I could eat before the mongrel gets to it first. Yes, the poor slumdog’s nutrition consists of whatever leftover the people throw out. And if DBKL doesn’t buckle up, I think Bolehland’s streets will be something like the above lah.

Just make yourself at home: The majority of the population live like this, with no roof and no cement floor in between them. Some of them don’t even have tent material for shelter.

Say hello to my family: A family of slumdogs trailing behind their young mother. Much, much too young. After my dad gave Rs.10 to the little girl behind (look closely), the whole family came and hoarded us. Groped us, touched us, talked in Hindi / Gujarati with us, keep on doing the ‘food to mouth’ gesture. All they want is just to eat.

Unemployed due to recession? I don’t think so. Welcome to my life.

Did you notice that they can produce soooo many children under this type of horrible conditions? No house, no roof, no cover, no surroundings, PLUS they already have several existing children to tend to. I wonder how they ‘DO’ stuff lah. It’s these instances that I truly pity their offspring, doomed to lead the lives their parents led – begging for money and starving, wandering aimlessly… No thanks to the gahmen nor the people here.

All in a day of work: After selling her produces, this aunty calls it a day and sleeps on this dingy little corner beside a tarmac road filled with trash.

Feed me please?

– END –

印度政府真的没良心，

走在街上都会与贫民插身而过，

竟然可以不理会。

大马政府，

我们有那么多资源，

别再偷吃了，

天时地也利，

我们的发展可以很旺盛的！

是时候反省下你们自己的行为了～

My Name is Pan, Pantang – Yet Another Language Barrier LOL.

I am very bored with the food choice in India. No junk food, no kopitiam for morning tea, no mamak stall for tea, etc. All I have here is white bread, made without eggs (vegan country, so it’s like char kuey teow without lard, where got sedap one?!); and cornflakes that I have to eat sparingly with my limited supply of milk powder (cows here eat trash, so we dare not order fresh milk from the friendly cow man). And guess what? I just found out our regular bakery shop is infested with monsoon season flies. Fly, in the plural, you know? The insect that sits on top of poo?

FML FML.

No pork noodles for breakfast, no teh oh ais to quench my thirst, cannot ‘zham’ RM5 ringgit of siew yoke when I feel like having salty delights. T_T No leafy green veges here. T_T No chinese mixed rice here. Only got vegetarian hakka noodles (is a JOKE, hakka noodle without pork?!!!!! *faints*) in restaurants that are far and few in between at the city.

One fine day, I was so bored, so dejected that I feel suicidal, I tried to order McDonalds even though I know it’ll be another sad joke. Even India’s largest telco, Airtel’s customer service can blabber at me in Hindi when I ‘press 1 for English’, what you expect lah?! Even in KL I also hate it when I choose English and got blabbered at in Malay. Dude, that makes the option thing totally redundant.

Bad thoughts aside, I was pleased that the call-center is articulate in English, so I placed my order. However, Indians learn English by using Hindi phonetics, hence their heavy accent.

Just imagine: Whatever stereotype you had in mind of Indian-English and the head-shaking thing, it’s totally 100% true. XD The heavy accent, coupled by head-shaking, I believe it’s deeply embedded in everyone’s mind. So picture that, and continue reading!

CLICK ‘READ MORE’ TO PROCEED TO THE LOLZ!

Authentic India Mehendi Art and some LOL Foreigner Moments~

I’m disoriented! Got plenty of potential blog material but they all flutter by vaguely and I couldn’t decide which! LOL!

When disoriented, compile a list, and take one step at a time.

But first, a camwhore pic to compensate the horrible night-vision pic. It was just for the lolz, okay? 😉
Pic cropped at the forehead coz my bangs look horrible now. I wants my haircut. T_T

.

.

.

.

.

There, done.

Today I’ll show you guys some Mehendi art. My ties with the Indian culture date far back. I had several close Indian neighbors, and I have always loved their bold prints and fashion, and not to mention,

I was the henna “artist” (note the ’66’ ’99’) for 2008 TARC’s event Faces of Malaysia, handled by Diploma in PR students~

Pics as proof.

As part of my contribution to the event, I did henna art for the TARC student body, free of charge. Whaddaf, there were so many people, if each of them I charge Rs.50, not much right? 50 freaking rupees nia! That’s less than RM5 omg… I worked for free! And I missed lotsa chances for camwhore in a saree because I was sitting there tending to the crowd. -_-

Well not exactly free, good performance means good assignment marks. if my event booth was attractive enough to bring in hoards of people, crowded event = successful event = my marks for this college event high = profit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

———————————————————————–

Coming back to India 2009…

I got mehendi art done by real Indian sifu last weekend!

I was ecstatic at first, but after looking at the picture, the brownish muddy paste on my hands looks like… Erm…

But it’s not permanent.

Because after it dries up, henna, a paste made from a herb,

Peels off and the juice stains your hands. My mom’s stain is more even than mine. Boo hoo. T_T

After a while, it’ll grow mellow and turn into a dark brown.

Depending on your body’s chemistry with the herb, everyone stains differently.

In my part of India, mehendi artists are found all over the popular shopping malls.

According to locals, standard rates are Rs.50 per hand.

But naturally, being one of the handful of foreigners here, we kena ‘tiok’ kao kao.

We paid twice the amount. And even if you know that, never attempt to complain and argue with local Indians. Friendly bargaining is okay but when they insist, don’t complain. ‘Unreasonable’ doesn’t even begin to describe some of them. So yeah, if you’re not happy with anything, don’t exercise your speech rights, best thing to do is walk away.

Mine stained unevenly, much to my displeasure. -_- And I’ve noticed the details are not as intricate as the sample that the guy showed me. Sigh, being a foreigner, what to do lah~

Btw check out those bangles! there are 36 of them, 3 sets consisting 12 pieces. Each set Rs.30 + 25% discount… Which means… Less than RM10 OMG bargain yo! I wish I could bring back full sets for my girlfriends but their hand measurements are different and there’s 101 sizes to choose from. And if it’s slightly bigger all 36 of em will slide off your hands easily. Le sigh.

Each set is a different color and the salesperson mixed and matched this style for me.

India’s art and color sense is seriously amazing. To be honest, I’ve actually thought about sourcing some suppliers in bringing in some stuff to sell in Malaysia but it’s just near impossible to communicate accurately (read: accurately) with them and I know business deals can go ghastly if there’s any miscommunication.

Example scenario 1:

My mom picked up some clothing and asked the sales girl:

“M size?”
“Yes ma’am, M size.” *Shakes head*

When in actual fact it was a S or L.

It happened not once but several times. I think they have a thing of repetiting what the customers say when in doubt.

Example scenario 2:

“I want someone who speaks English.”
“Yes ma’am.” *Shakes head and does nothing*
“No, you don’t understand. I want English, someone speak English!”
The salesgirl frowns, and then starts saying “yes ma’am,” and proceeds talking to us in Hindi / Gujarati.

And even worse, read about my dad’s post office mishap lol.

So…

Business idea scrapped. I’m really sick of Taiwan, Hong Kong, China and Korea fashion sprees online. Yawn much?

Night-Time Vision Chaborkia.

I know this is more random than all my bo liao posts combined, but what the heck.

So I took a picture.

To be honest, I was actually trying to back-comb my hair and pose sexy for the camera like EvonT. but failed miserably. So I made fun of myself instead.

Hahahahaha. Wtf.

——————————————-

I hate the India’s weather. It’s trying to make fun of me.

It was inhumanely hot a month back, and we’ve been avoiding going anywhere without shelter. Any normal person, no matter how healthy, sure kena heat stroke under the sun and 42 degrees Celsius.

So my parents were telling me Gujarat’s monsoon season (no autumn here, just lots of rain) is pretty mild, won’t rain day and night like the rest of India.

Good, we’ll go and visit tourist attractions during monsoon then, I thought.

Mana tau…

This whole week, me and my mom observed the weather day in day out. It sprinkled some moisture over our city, but nothing more. Not like KL rain like pangsai after kena food poison. And we gleefully thought we can go out and be tourist-ish when it’s cooling and with very little rain.

WE WERE WRONG!

I have already had enough with the shopping malls at Gujarat. I bought so many things I think I’m gonna cry when I fly back. T_T

I told myself, no shopping this weekend, let’s go to Teen Darwaza (Three Gate, those ancient monumental places) instead, and be really tourist-ish.

The weather looked great before we got down the stairs. Just then, BANG! It rained cats and dogs.

%$&#*%^%$^

Okay loh so we went shopping again.

And I bought even more stuff. Haiyo how to carry back lah. T_T

K lah good night.

PS: Hangmen will be proud. Night time vision PP omg. XD