Customer Service RANT. Malaysia BOLEH.

Your call is important to us. You will be served shortly.

Like, if my call is so goddamn important, serve me right now already okay?!

Now I know why I seldom update. I am always dissatisfied with my blog post attempts, because they’re usually meaningless, crisp and concise one-liners that I divert to Facebook instead.

Sei loh this blog must not die. Must… Write… Longer articles. Just because I’m so long-winded. Haha.

———————————————-

And inspiration struck. Yay!

It’s also regarding customer service.

My brother has been complaining that his office chair’s (those fancy healthy chair with ergonomic designs) seat cushion has been worn down and he needs it to be replaced.

I called and told the chair company’s girl my problem.

The customer doesn’t feel comfortable with the seat. Used for several years so worn down liao. I would like to order a new one. We’re willing to pay.

And she proceeded to list down a long-ass list of stuff over the phone to handle the situation. Procedures, kononnya.

1. She must call the technician.

2. She needs the technician to bring the chair back to factory for inspection.
Inspect what? I just want a new seat!

3. After inspection, write report about chair’s fault.
What fault? I. Just. Want. A. Fucking. New. Seat.

4. After approval, then proceed to repair broken part.
Problem is, the seat is not fucking broken. It’s just worn down. Imagine a fat ass sleep on the same mattress for 10 years. Surely the mattress will have an imprint of the person coz so heavy and mattress so old liao. Same thing with the seat lah, except my bro is not a fat ass.

EXCUSE ME,

I said the cushion doesn’t feel comfortable anymore, and we just want the goddamn cushion seat to be replaced with a new one. What masuk kilang, what report? If you really want to report, call in forensic scientists to calculate the ergonomics of the seat and check which E=MC2 is making the customer not comfortable lah. Stupid -race removed- girl.

What’s more infuriating is she totally warped my words on telephone in her writing on the Service Report,

Chair is faulty, please check and repair.

OEI SINCE WHEN I SAY FAULTY? The only thing faulty is your rusty brain! And possible ears clogged up with shit to listen properly.

Very hard to understand meh?

Bolehland’s customer service really boleh to the max!

‘Mata’ Manyak Efisien Lah – Yet Another Malaysia Boleh Moment.

I feel obliged to say something even though I am suffering from a terrible bout of writer’s block.

My office was broken into last Saturday. I received the call from my sister-in-law when I was in the cinema drooling over my favourite vampire. Much to my dismay, I was eager to glue my eyes on the screen for more Edward (and Jacob’s abs), but to add insult to injury, Maxis had to butt in with bad reception so I was irritated longer and to even greater heights.

Annoyances aside, I had a rude shock when I received the news.

First thing that came into my mind was my brother’s workstation. If that was gone… There goes our livelihood and my poor brother’s sanity and hard work.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), now everything say cash one. The only fucking thing stolen was our petty cash stash. The fucker didn’t even take the syilings lying in my petty cash tong!

All our cupboards were opened and ransacked, and documents strewn all over the floor. Office hardware are all intact, much to our relief. There was this old laptop lying on the chair, just beckoning to be stolen, but he didn’t.

Cash, they needs it. Cold, hard, fucking cash.

And it’s time to find out who did it. CSI time! A sergeant and his PROFESSIONAL CSI crew came over to inspect the damage done.

Wow, CSI guy wor, I was sorta curious what he had to offer. I didn’t expect much…

And I was right to NOT expect much.

The only thing the bugger did was to spread some miserable carbon powder on one particular document storage unit we had. ONE OKAY?! OUR WHOLE GODDAMN OFFICE WAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN IN SEARCH OF CASH. *Which we don’t have coz no marnee mah sob sob* And you check one cabinet nia!

Hello, there are tons of other surfaces that the culprit touched lah encik CSI.

CSI kononnya.

They say they can’t do anything because the fingerprints are not ‘whole’ enough, and proceeded to talk to us about how many juta-juta rakyat Bolehland houses and how hard it will be to trace the culprit. Not inclusive of foreigner somemore leh he added.

Fuck that lah. If I see the sincerity of them checking out the scene, trying to find out more about the issue, my writer’s block would still be intact and I’d still have a reason to leave this blog dormant. Nothing to complain mah. So distinctively Malaysian. *Cough*

And I end my angry article with a Malaysia BOLEH!!!!!!1

Kthxbai.

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What, You’re Practicing Hygiene Just Because of H1N1?

It’s no secret that I am the world’s biggest hygiene freak. For starters, let me share with you some of my antics at home.

• When I reach home after a day out, the first thing I do before anything else is to wash my hands and feet. Yes feet too. You have no idea the luxurious feeling of having squeaky clean floors that don’t have muck stuck on them.
• I never throw my bags or items such as wallets on my bed. Never. Well except for my phone because I’ve been busy SMSing someone for years. *wink wink* Why? Sometimes you’re left with no choice but to place your bag on the floor or the carpet of your car. Okay I wouldn’t mind that, but no way am I introducing germs into my BED.
• Don’t even get me started when you’re forced to place your handbags on the sink when you’re at a public toilet. Ever seen bloody disgusting dudes sneezing or hacking their life’s worth of scum in a public toilet? It’s bad enough WITHOUT the threat of H1N1. I have no idea why people never pondered about this.
• I change to fresh clothing when I come back home before I sit on my couch or my bed. After sharing public facilities such as seats (often stained) with unknown people, I really don’t wanna transmit any unnecessary particles to my household items, thank you very much.
• I absolutely despise it when people sit on my bed after a long day out. Or dump their bags on my nest. I won’t be anal to visitors to my house lah of course. I’m a good host. 😀
• Once, I visited a skin specialist who was also a sex specialist (talk about the sexpert! XD), my bf was being reluctant to sit on the couch. It was a sex specialist clinic and most probably the patients are struck with herpes or some scary STD. He couldn’t imagine how many patients with rotting crotches sat on the couch before.
• That’s when I pounced on his point and told him: ‘Okay, so you picture this: If our herpes patient went to Pavilion, sat on the nice clean-looking sofa, and you’re the next guy who sat on that sofa, how leh? That’s why NEVER sleep on my bed after you’ve come back from outside! And always, always wash your hands and change your clothes!’ And he kept quiet. XD

Some people may be saying that I’m way overboard with this whole ordeal, but living through the H1N1 pandemic, do you see my rationale as to why hygiene must be practiced as a lifestyle habit, not due to fear only when a pandemic strikes?

In fact, H1N1 is spreading like wildfire, and one of the reasons being – a lot of people simply do not practice the fundamentals of keeping themselves and their household clean!

Do you really need H1N1 to teach you how to maintain your cleanliness? Just because other diseases are not as contagious as H1N1, it doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.

Keep clean, and be safe!

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Reasons why I’m so worked up about this whole H1N1 thing:

• It ruined Project Akonana. Akonana was supposed to come to India but not anymore no thanks to this shitty virus. Screw H1N1.
• Bf imposed a 3 day home-quarantine for me when I come back. Okay fine, which means no kissing when I finally get to freaking see him in 3 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lose-lose situation. Screw H1N1.
• On the same day I land, there’s a party going on! Out of respect of the house owner, I’m not going. I have not been involved in any form of social activities since I freaking came to India. Except for the McDonald’s guy who is friendly with me. XD And now got a party on the same day I land and I can’t go out of caution as well as courtesy. FML. Screw H1N1.
• I want to go for a facial before I see anyone in KL and I *might* need to do it 7 days later, depending whether the salon permits me to go or not. Need to be nice and ask whether they mind mah, right? Screw H1N1.
• Certain cities in India have no finances to buy any thermal equipment and if you’re saying that KLIA scanning is abysmal, wait till you check out India. When I first landed in India, I was given a form to fill about my health condition, and nobody took it from me. People who’ve visited high-risk zones were never tracked down and now they’re panicking? Screw yourself, you idiots. It’s your fault that your people are dying. Eat more lah eat more! Corrupt sial. Screw H1N1.
• My dad will be escorting me to the international airport. Never mind if I kena Jackpot or Toto, but my dad, I don’t want anything happen to him during our trip together. I’ll be worried sick. Screw H1N1.

Perhaps it’s time to set up a website similar to FML, but instead of ending the posts with FML, you end it with Screw H1N1.

Hahahaha bye.

Thai-dal Wave, It Happened.

Have been down and sick for the past… 3 days. For me, it was just pain, endless visits to the toilet, and even more pain. Was so weak I just slept off 3 jolly good days where I could have done so much. @@

我讨厌印度食物。真的是没文明及卫生见识的地方。

Chaborkia’s Bad Luck With Electronics.

This morning I bustled around in my room with great inspiration to write a monolid makeup post. A series of shots were taken with my Nikon S520, but a defect that I thought I could handle with a little skill wound me up with NO usable shots. 

KNNCB.

No makeup post then. Even a simple test shot also blur. Shit.

 

 

But then again, my skin has come a long way! I don’t have to be self conscious of blackheads and cystic acne since I started treatment. Thanks EPI Derma Formulation (will post bout this salon in future).

Back to my camera problem, I have already suspected a problem since my bro handed me the camera. The Nikon S520’s motor was extremely noisy, and when it’s switched on you can actually hear the motor inside working furiously even when you’re not working it. To add insult to injury, my Sony Ericsson W800i, a phone, can focus better than a REAL camera.

It’s not exactly the latest model in the market so I cut it some slack and dismissed the problem. On one ocassion, I happened to pass by the camera shop and asked them to inspect my camera. Upon inspection, they diagonosed Mr Nikon with a lens defect. It can’t focus properly. Le sigh. And I was leaving for India the next day, so I didn’t have time to get it fixed. =(

I thought I could handle this little flaw if I took corrective measurements. BUT NOOOOOOOOO, my Nikon wouldn’t give me the time of the day and behave. DAMN. So I brought a dysfunctional camera with me. Sigh.

I dunno what’s up with me. I seem to have the most rotten luck with my electronics. My Dell Vostro 1400, for example, had a screen defect TWICE before I got a satisfactory replacement. And the second defect was not a defect at all. It was simply because of an unexplained phenomenon that drove me into so much agony, I just NEEDED Dell to replace it. 

Ever heard of a laptop screen that makes your eyes tired? Bet all laptops do. But my previous screen was lethal. 15 minutes and you’ll feel your eyes dying. When I called Dell for a replacement with the above reason they thought I was trying to be funny. I wasn’t. Even my bro agreed that any session with that screen for more than 30 minutes and you’ll feel like doing LASIK without anaesthesia.

Time to shelve my ego and use dad’s Sony instead. What’s done is done – My pics are ruined. A simple snapshot can take forever to focus properly / 101 attempts before I get it right, so the pics you see in Chaborkia.com are precious. I sincerely hope you enjoy them.

/endrant

 

The Not-So-Eco Hype about Eco Bags.

The eco bag hype is pretty much apparent everywhere.

Credits: http://site.fashionflavors.com

Now, let’s name all the hypermarkets Malaysia has. 

Tesco,
Jusco,
Giant,
Carrefour,
Cold Storage,
Isetan,

and so on.

 

Everytime we reach the exit of these supermarkets or hypermarkets, our frail heart-strings are pulled by these blood-thirsty corporations. ‘Save the environment, use our bags’, and all sorts of nonsense.

Does anybody fall prey to have 101 eco bags at home, only to bring back even more after each shopping trip because we forgot to bring the ones we already own?
Do any girls here buy the eco bags just because it looks chic, only to dump it elsewhere when you set your hands on a spanking new Coach / LV / whatnot? 

I’m guilty as charged for the former. It’s our family’s impulsive shopping habit that always catches us off guard, and we leave our eco bags lying at home, only to fend with even more plastic bags, or to buy more eco bags from these shopping malls.
And the end result will be lots of unused eco bags lying around at home, and lots of new plastic bags in exchange.

Now, even fashion labels’ hop into the bandwagon and attempt to sell these eco bags. First is the ever famous Anya Hindmarch’s I’m Not a Plastic Bag, which created a frenzy.

Credits: blogs.guardian.co.uk

Seriously, if these companies really care about the environment, stop the production of these eco bags already, I believe each household has already have enough of these lying around. Wanna make sure the consumers will remember to bring their own eco bags next time? 

Cut off plastic bags entirely.

I really hate this half-hearted attempt at ‘saving the environment’, when the actual message that these shopping malls are trying to convey is ‘buy these attractive looking things, then I can suck your moolahs dry’.

I have already stashed several of our existing eco bags into my brother’s car compartment in attempt to curb the habit of not having a bag when you need one. What is your effort in helping the environment?

The Chaborkia Goes To ‘Incredible’ India.

My biological cycle is severely freaked up. It’s supposed to be 8 pm in Malaysia now but here am I, sitting at my home in India, missing my gege, my shao shao, my tiger, my friends, enjoying the glorious evening heat wave.

Took EgyptAir to Mumbai this morning. Never wanna do it again.

Judging from my bloodshot and swollen eyes, kindly deduce by yourself how uncomfortable was the flight. Dirt cheap though. Lots of Egyptians and Middle Easterns and Indians and whatnot take this plane to transit in Mumbai to go to Cairo. For my family’s case, we need to reach Mumbai to transit to Gujarat.

Had a domestic flight from Mumbai to Gujarat via GoAir. Most probably will do it again.

The air steward is HOT. Beautiful Indian guy with long long eyelashes and big expressive eyes. Body can’t beat my tiger though. 

In case you’re wondering the lack of sightseeing pics of their beautiful ornaments in the airport, well, my family was running for our lives like we were on Amazing Race. The airport is so badly organized. First they wanted us to go through a metal detector only to be checked again by a manual metal detector. The crowd was three lines long and they fully know the Ahmedabad flight was leaving in about 10 minutes. What sense is that? Then the people never freaking queue up properly.

And the overall flow of the airport system is so blah. When I landed in the Mumbai International Airport, we were given some sort of medical declaration form to fill up, in response to the recent H1N1 outbreak. 

After we fill it up, no one collect it from us. No one bother to filter through who’s who that went to the affected areas. So what’s the freaking point?!

No sightseeing pictures but took one totally uneventful one after we complete our wild goose chase. Right outside the Ahmedabad Airport. Happy Mother’s Day!

Auto! They are really very tiny.

And they blardy hell like to honk honk honk. I dunno what’s up with that. Probably coz India is lacking of traffic lights.

Back at home, mom cooked me a meal with Indian rice grain. So long hor? Can tell mah? 

Some of you must be surprised why I wound up in India. Well, I have just finished my Diploma in TARC, and I’m currently waiting for UNITEC New Zealand’s February Intake. So I’ve got about half a year to slack. 

Hence, I chose to come here to shun myself from civilization. T.T

When I just landed and entered my parent’s home, I nearly died. With no thanks to jet lag, I keep thinking nonsense to myself,

“Why oh why did I come to this condemned place filled with skinny dogs and smelly cows.”

Seriously, mental and physical stress can really drain you of your sanity.

Actually,

I came here because I wanted to see what India was like. 
I came here to spend time with my parents because I’ll most probably be stuck in Milk Land for the next two years when I fly off for my Degree there.
I came here because I’m burning with curiousity how does a cow’s fart sound like.

But poor Akonana is all alone at KL now. Le sigh. Friends are going off for Advanced Diploma or to work or to kao zai, and I’m currently stuck here blogging this gibberish.

Goodness, I hope it’s a good decision to come here. Have yet to leave the house and explore the place because I totally kena kantoi by the crazy airport and flight.

And thank you for reading this gibberish. That’s about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kids, Cute? Bah Humbug!

Day 16 : 2009-03-31 

My lousy CGPA that never improved throughout the semesters. Le sigh. People straight A hor? I straight B. Some more in sync one, B+ B- B+ B-. Symmetry OMG!

Day 17 : 2009-04-01

I’m too lame for April’s Fool. But this ain’t a joke. A real set of Adobe CS4 Student Edition. Dear gege bought this wonderful gift for me last week. No occasion, simply just a gift for his dear younger sister. Love you. ❤ Btw do support original software, RM400++ for the full set of Adobe software, for STUDENTS. Worth every penny IMHO. Comes with lots of training too. 

Day 18 : 2009-04-02

=3

Day 19 : 2009-04-03

=3

Day 20 : 2009-04-04

I stared long and hard at this self portrait, thinking how should I glamourize it with Adobe Photoshop. I looked and looked, finally deciding that I don’t have the sort of taste it takes to induce false perfect complexions and fantastic ‘lighting’ for pictures. Either my taste sucks, or I’m just not in the mood. Once a while, a gal gotta looks fab though. =)

Day 21 : 2009-04-05

After this session of assignment dealing with kids, it further fortified my hate towards them. My friend, who was fond of kids 5 seconds before she was hoarded by the lot of ’em, turned to me and said she needs to consider about whether she really wants kids in the future. Wakakakaka.

There is this one kid the moment he saw me he said, ‘Eeeyer why your face liddat one?’ Fuck, whatever happened to the humble greeting of ‘jie jie’?

Of course, he’s refering to my acne condition. Kids, although extremely well-kept on the outside, have overdeveloped brains no thanks to monster concoctions by melamine milk powder companies that does them no good but to turn them into selfish, stuffed up little beasts. Whatever happened to childhood innocence? It’s all gone. 

Silently, I curse in my heart, I hope you have a bee hive face when you grow up, kiddo.

PS: Kids nowadays have ahmads driving Estimas to pick ’em up for classes. Wtf.
PSS:  Kids nowadays are smart-asses that you wish to strangle the moment they open their mouth to insult you.
PSSS: I REALLY hate kids.

 

I Scolded a Stranger ‘Sakai’ In Her Face.

I am totally bewildered. Are we living in the 21th century or not? Or do we belong to the middle ages? I thought the modern human are supposedly civilized and possess at least some form of common sense?

I boarded a RapidKL bus to head to college today. Normally the RapidKL crowd seems more clean and decent as opposed to the dodgy people and mostly foreign workers who board the Metrobus. I’m not generalizing – This is basic observation. As always, circumstances differ.

All was calm, when a lady sitting in front of me spat right at the floor of the bus.

I was so outraged, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I glared and glared while she looked around, occasionally catching my eye then hurriedly looking away, avoiding my gaze. There was no sign of shame or remorse at all. I then shook my head openly in front of her, while maintaining my glare at her stupid face. Never mind spitting on the streets, but on the bus? What the fuck was the woman thinking?

And she glared me back. No shame, really.

Right before I got off the bus, I retorted “What a stupid sakai” right in her face and walked away.

I think, being stupid enough to vandalize the bus that way, she wouldn’t have enough processing power to understand what I said. Thinking back, I should have stood up to her actions in front of the morning crowd. Havinng to put up to people who don’t know how to read the fucking “No Smoking” sign is already too much for me to bear, but this?

And you’re telling me Malaysia sedang maju? With rakyat like these, we’ll just go backwards!