Authentic India Mehendi Art and some LOL Foreigner Moments~

I’m disoriented! Got plenty of potential blog material but they all flutter by vaguely and I couldn’t decide which! LOL!

When disoriented, compile a list, and take one step at a time.

But first, a camwhore pic to compensate the horrible night-vision pic. It was just for the lolz, okay? 😉
Pic cropped at the forehead coz my bangs look horrible now. I wants my haircut. T_T

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There, done.

Today I’ll show you guys some Mehendi art. My ties with the Indian culture date far back. I had several close Indian neighbors, and I have always loved their bold prints and fashion, and not to mention,

I was the henna “artist” (note the ’66’ ’99’) for 2008 TARC’s event Faces of Malaysia, handled by Diploma in PR students~

Pics as proof.

As part of my contribution to the event, I did henna art for the TARC student body, free of charge. Whaddaf, there were so many people, if each of them I charge Rs.50, not much right? 50 freaking rupees nia! That’s less than RM5 omg… I worked for free! And I missed lotsa chances for camwhore in a saree because I was sitting there tending to the crowd. -_-

Well not exactly free, good performance means good assignment marks. if my event booth was attractive enough to bring in hoards of people, crowded event = successful event = my marks for this college event high = profit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Coming back to India 2009…

I got mehendi art done by real Indian sifu last weekend!

I was ecstatic at first, but after looking at the picture, the brownish muddy paste on my hands looks like… Erm…

But it’s not permanent.

Because after it dries up, henna, a paste made from a herb,

Peels off and the juice stains your hands. My mom’s stain is more even than mine. Boo hoo. T_T

After a while, it’ll grow mellow and turn into a dark brown.

Depending on your body’s chemistry with the herb, everyone stains differently.

In my part of India, mehendi artists are found all over the popular shopping malls.

According to locals, standard rates are Rs.50 per hand.

But naturally, being one of the handful of foreigners here, we kena ‘tiok’ kao kao.

We paid twice the amount. And even if you know that, never attempt to complain and argue with local Indians. Friendly bargaining is okay but when they insist, don’t complain. ‘Unreasonable’ doesn’t even begin to describe some of them. So yeah, if you’re not happy with anything, don’t exercise your speech rights, best thing to do is walk away.

Mine stained unevenly, much to my displeasure. -_- And I’ve noticed the details are not as intricate as the sample that the guy showed me. Sigh, being a foreigner, what to do lah~

Btw check out those bangles! there are 36 of them, 3 sets consisting 12 pieces. Each set Rs.30 + 25% discount… Which means… Less than RM10 OMG bargain yo! I wish I could bring back full sets for my girlfriends but their hand measurements are different and there’s 101 sizes to choose from. And if it’s slightly bigger all 36 of em will slide off your hands easily. Le sigh.

Each set is a different color and the salesperson mixed and matched this style for me.

India’s art and color sense is seriously amazing. To be honest, I’ve actually thought about sourcing some suppliers in bringing in some stuff to sell in Malaysia but it’s just near impossible to communicate accurately (read: accurately) with them and I know business deals can go ghastly if there’s any miscommunication.

Example scenario 1:

My mom picked up some clothing and asked the sales girl:

“M size?”
“Yes ma’am, M size.” *Shakes head*

When in actual fact it was a S or L.

It happened not once but several times. I think they have a thing of repetiting what the customers say when in doubt.

Example scenario 2:

“I want someone who speaks English.”
“Yes ma’am.” *Shakes head and does nothing*
“No, you don’t understand. I want English, someone speak English!”
The salesgirl frowns, and then starts saying “yes ma’am,” and proceeds talking to us in Hindi / Gujarati.

And even worse, read about my dad’s post office mishap lol.

So…

Business idea scrapped. I’m really sick of Taiwan, Hong Kong, China and Korea fashion sprees online. Yawn much?

Night-Time Vision Chaborkia.

I know this is more random than all my bo liao posts combined, but what the heck.

So I took a picture.

To be honest, I was actually trying to back-comb my hair and pose sexy for the camera like EvonT. but failed miserably. So I made fun of myself instead.

Hahahahaha. Wtf.

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I hate the India’s weather. It’s trying to make fun of me.

It was inhumanely hot a month back, and we’ve been avoiding going anywhere without shelter. Any normal person, no matter how healthy, sure kena heat stroke under the sun and 42 degrees Celsius.

So my parents were telling me Gujarat’s monsoon season (no autumn here, just lots of rain) is pretty mild, won’t rain day and night like the rest of India.

Good, we’ll go and visit tourist attractions during monsoon then, I thought.

Mana tau…

This whole week, me and my mom observed the weather day in day out. It sprinkled some moisture over our city, but nothing more. Not like KL rain like pangsai after kena food poison. And we gleefully thought we can go out and be tourist-ish when it’s cooling and with very little rain.

WE WERE WRONG!

I have already had enough with the shopping malls at Gujarat. I bought so many things I think I’m gonna cry when I fly back. T_T

I told myself, no shopping this weekend, let’s go to Teen Darwaza (Three Gate, those ancient monumental places) instead, and be really tourist-ish.

The weather looked great before we got down the stairs. Just then, BANG! It rained cats and dogs.

%$&#*%^%$^

Okay loh so we went shopping again.

And I bought even more stuff. Haiyo how to carry back lah. T_T

K lah good night.

PS: Hangmen will be proud. Night time vision PP omg. XD

India in Lomo-tion.

Gah I hate writer’s block. I hate it when I have nothing entertaining to write. Sure, I can blog about the Indian Maggi Mee that I had but I am so uninspired, sparks definitely won’t fly when I write about it.

Here are some pics to stifle to silence. Just doodling around with random pics from my collection and playing with Photoshop.

Enjoy! And don’t laugh if you find my skills mediocre. Blek!

The cheeky cow who tried to steals yer tomaters.

The streets of India. A distinct flavour of it’s own.

Auto rickshaws don’t just serve to ferry people around, they are used for logistics as well.

READ MORE FOR LOTSA PICTURES!

India’s Big Four – Cow, Goat, Camel, Squirrel. LOL.

HAHAHA this blog is not turning into Fortune Magazine, dun worry.

I’m here to introduce to you,

India’s Big Four. The most popular animals that live in harmony among the locals. 😀

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COWS

What’s India without the abundance of beef cows?

Imagine bovines crossing the famous Petaling Street beef noodle.

The beef noodle aunty will be very pleased. She will never run out of supply here. XD

Imagine the horrible state of Malaysian traffic if bovines are set to run free on highways. As per the picture. -_-

Spot the cow.

And imagine DBKL’s horror if they were to see cows eating off their precious roadside plants. -_-

READ MORE TO SEE WHAT’S NEXT IN THE BIG FOUR

Random LOL – The Thailand Version of ‘Delhi Belly’.

As a traveler in India, it’s natural that I need to know about Delhi Belly. Even though I swore off eating any outside food during my stint to prevent food poisoning (hygiene here is terrible), I couldn’t resist. And if you know how to find, you’ll get some very decent fine dining restaurants here that are clean and comfortable. Roadside food is a definite no-no for foreigners. Not unless you wanna laosai until you dry.

I never read about Delhi Belly’s definition formally, I just sorta guessed the meaning, so I googled to make sure.

And I lol’d.

From Wikipedia,

There are a number of colloquialisms for travelers’ diarrhea contracted in various localities, such as “Montezuma’s revenge”, “turistas”, or “Aztec two step” for travelers’ diarrhea contracted in Mexico, “Pharaoh’s Revenge” in Egypt,”Delhi belly” in India, “Holiday tummy” in United Kingdom or “Bali Belly” in Bali. A recent local term in Pattaya, Thailand, is “Thai-dal wave”.

Thailand.

Thai-dal wave.

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OMG WTF I lol’d so hard. I think I’m the only perv who’s laughing at the pun but yeah, it’s another piece of rubbish not worth knowing but made a good laugh for me anyways.

Thai-dal wave. HAHAHAHA.

For those who dunno what is a ‘tidal wave‘,

A tsunami (津波^?) (pronounced /(t)suːˈnɑːmi/) is a series of water waves (called a tsunami wave train) that is caused when a large volume of a body of water, such as an ocean, is rapidly displaced. The Japanese term is literally translated into “harbor wave.”

Tsunami. Diarrhea. HAHAHAHAHA.

Dada Hari Vav : India’s Ancient Stepwell.

So last weekend, we visisted a monument near our city. It was nearby, but still out of town and we needed a car ride to reach there.

And I swear I will not do it again! It’s just HORRIBLY dangerous to travel here! No bus system, train maybe okay but I can imagine the horror, and auto rickshaw is out too coz it’s too far, so we had no choice but to call a taxi.

We thought it’d be more comfortable, but I was soooooo wrong!

Drivers here are TERRIBLE. It seems that they never mastered:

• Braking: They don’t brake when there’s an obstacle in front. If possible, they’ll swerve off without looking at the side mirrors, and then if they have no room to swerve, they honk. HONK LAN MEH?! You honk jor the traffic stuck in front will move meh?!
• Brake, damn it, BRAKE!
• Common sense: They can stop in the MIDDLE of the road and ask for directions. Hey wtf, there is traffic incoming behind us, and what with you all not mastering how to BRAKE, what if the people behind ram into us? Besides that, they can also stop and curse at an offending driver. Or stop to chit chat. Wah at this point I wanna take a stick and whack the fella liao.
• No sense of fear: We were on a road, something like going up to Gabai Waterfalls or Cameron, small two-way lanes, ya know. And a bus was speeding like a crazy Metrobus towards us. Our taxi failed to keep to his lane. Instead, he chose to FREAKING ignore the flashing of headlights, a sign of warning by the bus. Rather, he sped along as though trying to see who will give in first. DAMN YOU IF THE BUS SOMETHING WRONG WE COULD HAVE ALL DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• No driving etiquette: See above.

So if you’re coming to India, be sure to buy insurance and do more cardio to build up your heart. The poor thing will be under a lot of stress wan I tell you.

Ok lah my rants are endless. Here are some pics. I can’t really give you guys a documentation of this place. Because due to the awesome Indian government, there is no one doing any maintenance to this beautiful place, no signboards directing us here, the awesome locals are clueless about this place too, and it’s hard to reach here unless you LIVE here or have a local as a friend. And there is no guide no nothing to tell us about the history of this place. There is only 1 Indian uncle who kononnya calls himself the ‘guard’ and asked for Rs.50 for his ‘services’.

Seriously LOUSY place. But nonetheless, the monument is beautiful. BUT I won’t come here ever again!

Oh ya I must also remind adventurous females that this country is not female-friendly. Sure you’ll feel this place is all lovey-dovey and full of ‘flavour’ if you’re a backpacker and linger around for a few days, but if you’re here to stay for a long time like me, you’ll get really get fed up.

Shit I ranted again. Okay see pics nao!

CLICK ‘READ MORE’ FOR
SUPREME VIEWING PLEASURE.

102 Reasons That People Really Need to STFU When They See Acne-Sufferers.

I think I’ll blog about my trip to Hari Dada Vav later on. I really wanna blog about my skin first. Just coz I’m so excited. XD Still remember this article (101 Stupid Reactions People Give When They See an Acne-Prone Kid) where I spilled my guts on how I despise the way people treat us acne sufferers? Read that before you proceed.

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I’ve come a long way, from this piece of shit,

To what I have now.

CLICK READ ON LAH,
I KNOW YOU WANNA KNOW
WHY I WANT PEOPLE TO STFU (shaddafakap)
WHEN THEY SEE ACNE-SUFFERERS!

My First Vector Buzz OMG.

I know this is so so so so random. I tried to sit down and play with my Adobe Illustrator and all I got was this lousy Bee.

There you go, my first ever vector image. I sorta grasp the concept of AI now. Totally different from the way Adobe Photoshop works. I really need to shake off the PS mindset and think AI nao else I’ll be stuck forever!

Gawd I am soooooooo random. Good night!

A Mother’s (LOL) Vengeance.

I woke up this morning to find one side of my cheek glowing red. It wasn’t the kind of flush that I got when Akonana first held my hand. It was my first Indian mosquito bite OMGWTF. What a strategic location. -_-

My mom always had a thing with insects. She kills them with a vengeance and annihilates anything that comes within her territory. When she looked at the bite on my face, she stomped into my room, swearing that she’ll find and kill the thing that bit me.

I LOL’d. How lah to find a mosquito in a room out of nowhere. I must have been bitten during the night, the buzzer could be anywhere by now.

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A few minutes later, mom stepped out, triumphant, with 2 splotches of blood on her palms. Apparently, she managed to find and kill the offending mosquito. Find a mosquito out of nowhere dude!

Amazing lah my mom. -_-

Rendezvous with India’s Locals: Facts about Gujarati Weddings.

We’ve had the pleasure to acquaint with some locals after starting our exercise routine. One day, we visited our friend’s house. It was elaborately decorated, Indian style. The floor tiles, the beddings, the cupboard designs, all of them are full of Indian flavour.

I hope I can bring pictures for ya all, but since it’s our first time visiting, it’s not nice to step into a person’s house and snap pics as you please, innit? It isn’t like in Malaysia where you can just camwhore and let people stare or complain that you’re vain and LOL it off.

But anyway, I’ll try. Since I’ve got no pics this time, lemme compile a list of facts that I found out about…

Indian weddings. Or maybe Gujarati weddings, if you may. Just like the Chinese, we have Cantonese, Hakka, Teochew and etc clans, so stuff might differ.

First and foremost,

MOST weddings are pre-arranged by the family. Which explains the staggering amount of movies revolving around Indian brides. Running away from home to achieve their own dreams to escape the ghastly fate of marrying someone you never knew and never loved ARE true and not a fragment of the director’s imagination.

Secondly,

The standard age to marry is 22 years old. For females. Males I dunno lah. My friend’s daughter will be getting married in another 2 years with a pre-arranged partner. She is the same age as me and currently still in college. And it took a lot of self-restraint from going OMGWTF at their face. This family I’m talking about… They’re the rich class of Indians, you’d expect them to be more modern when it comes to these matters… But no, it’s still a die-hard custom. Die lah if I marry 22, I still wanna hang out check out cute boys clubbing flirt fool around enjoy my youth leh.

Thirdly,

Indian weddings are grand affairs. They party for days and nights and the bridal money (礼金?) is given by the female family, not the male. The rented house we’re living at is a gift from our owner’s daughter-in-law to her husband’s family. And mind you, this house is VERY big and kononnya hai crass for India’s standards (luxury residence?!). So yeah, if you dun have moolah, no wedding for ya.

These facts are collected from a mound of broken languages and very rusty English from a local individual. So it might be right, it might be wrong too. But that’s what we’ve heard lah.

It’s really surprising to learn that pre-arranged weddings still exist in such a modern part of India. And movies do not necessarily portray reality wrongly sometimes – if you’ve watched Heroes Season 3 Volume 4, Hiro saved an Indian woman from a pre-arranged wedding. It’s dangerous to do that actually, because if someone witnessed a robbery or a crime or an elope attempt, it will be either:

• They walk away without helping
• Take matters into their own hands and beat up the culprits. Seen these type of reports in the local papers for way too many times.
• The girl who tries to elope will be dismissed by the family. And in an extreme case from the local papers, a girl from a rich and well-respected family was shot because she ‘disgraced’ her family from running away from her pre-arranged wedding. She died and the main suspect was her own family.

And they call this place a safe state? Niasing lah!

Boy am I glad to be born in a place with decent (yes just decent! not great! Bolehland you hear me?!!!!!!!!!) female rights and independence to choose my own partner. I really cannot imagine bringing myself to marry a guy whom I’ve never knew my whole life, and suddenly being pushed into a scenario where I’ve become his dearest. Seriously crazy shit.